The New Normal

You know what I'm talking about: you're out of the car, across the parking lot and just about to walk through the doors of the store when you realize that you aren't wearing your (expletive) mask. Back to the car you go, mumbling, grumbling and telling yourself how sick and tired you are of wearing that (expletive) thing. An hour later, after you've shopped, departed the store, gotten back in your car and driven away, you realize while you are sitting at a red light that you are still wearing the (expletive) mask.

I was in a Lowe's a few mornings ago, bright and early to get some lumber for a project. I'm in the store several minutes before realizing I forgot my mask. Those inquisitive (dirty?) looks I had received from the few customers in the store began to make sense. I asked an employee who walked by if he had any extra and he was kind enough to open a pack and give me one.

A couple of weeks ago I was doing some work for a company that required travel to Texas. They put me up in a Hilton and I was in the lobby area having breakfast at 7 A.M. My wife and I don't normally eat out, especially since the Covid outbreak, but I had not been able to shop at a grocery store for food to keep in the hotel room so I decided to roll the dice and eat hotel food. It was a buffet with stainless steel food trays set up on an island, and there was also a breakfast chef available for special orders, like omelets.

As I was finishing my breakfast, a man walked into the food area. He was tall, probably 6'5", dressed business casual with short hair, in his mid-forties. What got my attention was that he was not wearing a mask. He asked the Hilton employee on duty there about the breakfast and she explained that it was self-serve and the cost was $11.95 unless it was included in his guest package. He nodded and grabbed a plate. The employee asked him if he had a mask.

"Yeah, it's in my pocket."

And without putting on a mask, he went to each stainless steel food tray, opened them to see what they contained, and served himself while breathing all over that food. The guy was obviously looking for confrontation but the employee didn't say anything to him. Jerk of the Month award to that asshat, and please remember the word karma.

Wearing masks is working and cutting back the infection rate, or at least that's what the "experts" say. In the spring they told us that wearing a mask or bandana over your face was pretty useless because only an N95 surgical mask could prevent the spread of germs, but the CDC recommended that the general public not buy those because there was a shortage of them and they were critical to medical personnel actually in contact with sick people. Now we are told that anything over the face is helping, and some people even wear them while out for a walk or driving alone down the highway.

We have a vaccine now and people have signed up for it. When my turn comes I'm going to request that the injection be given to me in the rear end. That seems the most appropriate location, given the circumstances of the past ten months.

And, finally, a special thanks to the Chinese Communist government for letting this virus loose on the world. They've succeeded in killing millions but I'm sure it was all just a mistake made in a Wuhan laboratory. The Chinese Communist government has such a wonderful track record of probity and integrity that I can't help but believe any explanation they put forth.

I can't wait to see what level of accountability governments throughout the world will impose on them, but I'm pretty sure in this era of political correctness it will be something like absolutely nothing.

See ya'll at the next pandemic.


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J.R. Lonsway served 22 years with the Las Cruces, New Mexico, police department and retired as a Deputy Chief of Police. After retirement he served with the U.S. Department of State as a police advisor in Kosovo, Afghanistan, Liberia, Haiti, Lebanon, and South Sudan. He is a former U.S. Marine.

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